


Future, Present & Past

by leiareyjyn



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebellion Era - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 11:47:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9723572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leiareyjyn/pseuds/leiareyjyn
Summary: Because Cassian remembers something else his mother once said, something about the sunrise representing hope, the dawn of a new day.For the RebelCaptain Network Valentine's exchange 2017, for @leiasorganaas (Tumblr).





	1. Future

Lyra hugged the teddy bear tight to her chest and closed her eyes, breathing in the earthy air as around her she listened to the sound of nothing. Somewhere in the home a tap was dripping steadily, its rhythmic noise comforting as opposed to irritating to the ear.

She sniffled and pulled the bear tighter to her chest. Lyra hated being sick. Lyra hated having a cold. Her whole family was so active, such go-getters that any time she couldn't keep up was frustrating to say the least. She hadn't been this sick in years, in all her eight years.

From somewhere else in the house she heard the front door open and shut, and the small pitter patter of feet approached.

"Lyra," whined the voice. "Lyra, are you still sick?"

She shifted uncomfortably in her bed and tried to sit up, settling instead for a half-slouch where she managed to see the figure of her younger sister Fiona trot into view on her tiny feet.

"Are you still sick, Lyra?" her younger sister said again, tiny hands on her hips.

"Of course I'm still sick, Fiona," Lyra coughed.

"But you've been sick for two days now," said the three year old.

"Yes well," Lyra sneezed. "Some illnesses last that long."

"Hm," said the little girl, not sounding convinced, "as long as you're not making excuses. Mama and Papa could really use the help."

"Miss Lyra?" called out a mechanical voice. "Miss Lyra, I will come and take you to say goodbye now?"

Lyra looked up and smiled at the tall robot walking towards them.

"Thank you Kaytoo," she said. "I'd like that. If you could prop me up -"

"I will not prop you up," the droid replied promptly, "I will carry you."

"That's not fair!" Fiona squealed. "She's older than me!"

"But she is far sicker than you," Kaytoo said deadpan, "and therefore I will carry her."

He placed one of his arms under Lyra's legs as she put her arm around his metal neck, and he hoisted her up.

"Rest assured Miss Fiona that I will be more than happy to drop your sister the moment she recovers."

Lyra grinned as over her shoulder she saw her sister giggle.

"Charming as ever Kaytoo," Lyra sneezed.

"And it is just as well that as a droid I cannot be effected by your germs or I would drop you right now for the biological hazard you would be presenting to me."

He carried her through the house until he neatly crouched down and ducked under the doorframe until they were out of the house and in the open air.

It was a misty day outside on the planet Lah'mu, where Lyra lived with her family. Within her immediate line of sight she saw the silhouette standing amongst the vegetation.

"Galen," she cried out, her voice hoarse. "Galen?"

The figure turned around and she saw that as she suspected, it was her older brother, face slightly mucky with soil, a glove on one hand and the other tucked in his belt.

"Such a diva," her brother called out as he walked towards them. "You really mustn't encourage her, Kaytoo."

"She is sick," Kaytoo said simply. "Though not sick of using me as a transportation device."

Lyra's eyebrows shot up, and laughed, long used to the droid's snark.

"You're mucky already," she accused her brother.

"Well that's what happens when you do work Lyra," her brother said. "I know it's not something you're used to..."

Lyra looked around her, trying to peer beyond the figure of her brother.

"Where are they?" she said quietly.

"At the end of the path," Galen said. "Talking."

She stared out into the distance, worried. Since she could remember her parents had never been away from her, or from any of her siblings. The thought made her unhappy.

"I don't want them to go either," said Galen. "But Mama said it was important."

"But why do they both have to go?" said Lyra. "Why can't Papa stay behind?"

"They explained this already, Lyra," Galen replied, his voice not exasperated but tender. "They have both been summoned."

As though responding to a clarion call Lyra saw five shadows appear through the mist, their outlines slowly getting stronger and stronger until she saw them clearly and burst into a grin.

"My goddaughter!" said a voice, and Lyra stretched out her arms only to to find herself pulled into a warm hug provided by the one and only Baze Malbus. "I am sorry to hear you are ill, little one."

"Uncle Bodhi!" Lyra heard her younger sister cry and out of the corner of her eye she saw her brother bow and mock spar with Uncle Chirrut in greeting.

"I will get better," said Lyra. "I am sure of it now you will be here looking after us."

"I will call down the Force myself to make sure you recover," said Baze.

"That's not how the Force works," said a voice, and Lyra turned up to look into the face of her mother, whose eyes reflected deep concern and whose fingers brushed Lyra's hair out of her eyes to feel her forehead.

"You're still a little clammy," her mother murmured.

"It is just a small flu," said Uncle Baze. "I am confident she will be up on her feet by the time you are back."

"Ah mi corazón," said another voice, approaching so that Lyra was now surrounded by adults. "How I hate to see you ill."

"I will get better, Papa," said Lyra confidently. "Uncle Baze said I will."

Her father placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Then I am sure you will."

Lyra watched as her parents said goodbye to her siblings and another farewell to their Uncle Bodhi, who had only come down to say hello before piloting the ship that would take their parents away.

"Come back sooner," said Fiona, as she clung to her mother's hand.

"We will come back as quickly as we can."

"No. Come back sooner."

Chirrut chuckled, catching the eye of Cassian Andor in the process.

"She is as stubborn as you," said the monk, who was now holding Lyra tightly in his arms. "Perhaps you could use some of that stubbornness to ensure Leia gets a bit of a rest now and then. Between missions and that smuggler she barely shuts her eyes."

Cassian strode towards Chirrut, and smiled absentmindedly at his son as he did so.

"You want me to order a princess?" he said.

Chirrut shrugged.

"You're right," the monk shot back. "I'm almost positive Jyn could do a better job of it."

The three children watched the ship fly way up into the sky until it was less than a speck against the light atmosphere of Lah'mu.

Then Baze picked up Fiona and ushered them all inside.

It had been over two years since Lyra and the others had seen their Uncle Baze and Uncle Chirrut. She knew they did important things for the Rebellion, but their parents and their uncles themselves had been careful about the stories they told. Galen enjoyed the stories of battles and great deeds but those were ones rarely shared.

She felt her eyes droop as Uncle Chirrut tucked her back into bed, taking a bowl of hot broth from Baze without even needing to look up.

"I struggle when I sleep," she sniffled. "My nose. Everytime I shift one way or the other it blocks or unblocks and I barely have to time to settle and try to sleep."

She felt Chirrut's hand gently brush her forehead and let him tip the bowl of soup so that it slowly slipped down her throat, heating her up. Lyra would not have missed the departure of her parents for the world, but she knew that it had not served her well: she felt more clammy than ever.

"Mama and Papa," never get sick, she moaned, as she finished the last of the broth and took the cloth from Chirrut to wipe her mouth. She began to feel frustrated. Everything hurt, her throat was sandpaper and she could not sleep. Lyra tried to ignore the pricking sensation at the corner of her eyes.

"It's not fair," she said, sniffling. "Why am I sick Uncle Chirrut, it's not fair."

"Oh my child," he said soothingly, draping another blanket over her. "You have parents who are with you, family that loves you, and a life here of peace and prosperity. When your mother was your age her mother had already been long gone. When your father was younger than you everyone he had ever loved had been taken from him."

Lyra looked up. Her parents rarely talked about their childhoods, unless it was the good parts.

"Really?" she asked quietly.

The monk nodded.

"Yes," he said. "It took them many, many years before they found true happiness, and before they found one another."

"I like that story," said Galen, who walked over and put himself, cross legged, at the end of the bed. "Papa tells about when he first met Mama, and about the moment he fell in love with her during their mission to save the galaxy, and about when they met you and Uncle Baze."

"That is a good story," Chirrut agreed. "And did they tell you about the moment they agreed they would spend the rest of their lives together?"

"No," whispered a little voice as Baze approached carrying Fiona. "Papa and Mama have not told us that one."

Chirrut smiled, and shifted onto the bed so that Lyra could lean into him.

"Well then," he said, his voice now the most important sound in the house. "Let me recount to you the tale. It all started one day in the early hours of the morning..."


	2. Present

Jyn stretched and opened her eyes. Grey ceiling, grey walls... she rubbed her eyes again and smiled when she saw the curtains at the end of her room and golden rays of light that peeked through.

She stretched again, feeling the ache in her bones from bruises that were certainly taking their time to go away. Then she slowly got up from the bed and changed out of her night clothes into her something suitable for the day. She had just finished going through the motions of buttoning up her shirt when she realised with a jolt that today was the day and she grinned, the hug smile spreading across her face.

With new excitement she put on her vest and slung the pack over her back before opening the curtains. The morning light on Yavin IV was always soft, beautiful, a treat to see in the morning. She smiled to herself and took a long, deep breath. Then she turned to the clock on her bedside table. She had been in such a state of relaxation these past few weeks that she had almost forget what it was like to need to keep time so meticulously. She had time.

Without a care in the world she strode out of her quarters and towards the mess hall.

Chirrut Îmwe was already there waiting for her. In the weeks since they had been grounded she had found that Chirrut was the one person that would unfailingly manage to wake up early, come rain or shine, even if none of them had anything they needed to do that day. It made her happy to have company on the early mornings. Jyn was so used to being up at all hours after a lifetime of uncomfortable prisons and always being on the run that even now her body clock still pushed her to get up. Chirrut, on the other had, said that it was because he liked to smell the morning dew, because he felt it kept him close to the Force. Jyn liked that.

He was casually going through a plate of pancakes when Jyn found him, and he pushed a second plate towards her as she approached.

"Syrup and honey," he said. "I thought you'd like the use of double condiments today."

"I do," she said. "Especially today - though who doesn't like double condiments?"

They laughed together, and Jyn tucked into her food, which was still warm.

After breakfast the two of them sat outside the Rebellion hangar, Jyn and Chirrut trading stories. The sun had risen much higher in the sky when they heard heavy footsteps approaching behind them.

"You both put the rest of us to shame," said Baze Malbus. "Up with the dawn..."

"We said we wanted to leave early," Chirrut replied.

"Yes," Baze replied, taking a seat in front of them, "but we meant 'at a keen, reasonable hour of the morning', not 'before the rest of the world has woken up'."

Jyn smiled as she watched the two exchange words. She could never imagine Baze or Chirrut without the other, and as she watched them she felt a twinge in her stomach. She realised that it was because it reminded her of her parents, of the times they would argue only to fall into each other's arms once more, and of the days when they had both knelt or sat beside her, eyes conveying love and worry as they checked to see if she was alright. It was the little things, always the little things.

"Jyn?" said a voice, shaking her out of her thoughts. She looked up to see Baze and Chirrut both looking down at her. Both eyes were filled with concern.

"Are you alright?" asked Baze.

"I - yes," she said, remembering that the knew about the nightmares she had only recently managed to shake off. Scarif still loomed heavy in all their memories. "I was just thinking, that's all."

"Well don't think too hard," said a voice from behind Jyn, and all three of them looked up to see Bodhi Rook approach carrying more packs that seemed wise for his thing frame. "We're meant to be going on a relaxing and enjoyable trip, remember? No overthinking, just some good r'n'r."

Jyn smiled as Bodhi let three of the packs fall to the floor in heavy thumps.

"And you know we're not going to stay in some luxurious establishment, right?" Jyn replied. "Why all the packs?"

"Cassian insisted," said Bodhi. "You know he has that look in his eye - that scary one. He just goes: 'make sure you take these with you when we meet in the morning, Bodhi', and that was that."

"But you can't possibly carry all of that by yourself," Jyn said incredulously.

"Oh, I think Kaytoo will be carrying a lot of it," said Bodhi.

"Speak of the captain," Baze interjected, "Where is he?"

"Here," called out a figure who strode out of the undergrowth, a droid by his side. Jyn smiled without realising she did so.

"I was scouting our route," said Cassian, a few maps in his hands. "I wanted to make sure we had a clear and trouble free journey to make our stop before nightfall."

"And here I thought this was meant to be a fun trip," Bodhi whispered to Jyn. "Why do I get the feeling he's turning this into a mission?"

 _Because he turns everything into a mission_ , Jyn thought, watching Cassian count the packs and check everyone was wearing suitable clothing. _Even if you ask him to get some food for you he turns it into a mission. He can't help himself. All our scars remain in different ways._

"He's just enjoying himself," Jyn said instead.

The team set off away from the base and into the think undergrowth of Yavin IV around half an hour later. Jyn was glad that they were stationed here on the Rebellion base as opposed to somewhere cold or inhospitable, for the planet was truly beautiful, with rich wildlife and colours that reminded her of the freedoms and possibilities of home. It wasn't at all sterile with alien development like in Coruscant.

She caught up with Cassian and Kaytoo as they crossed a natural border where open land turned into jungle.

"We have a long journey ahead of us," said Kaytoo. "The Captain planned it on purpose."

"Kaytoo!" said Cassian, only half turning around so she could just about see him grin as he trekked on ahead.

"Well, it's a holiday, isn't it?" said Cassian. "Of sorts. I wanted us to see as much as we could."

"You know," interjected Kaytoo, before Jyn could say anything. "Some people rest on holidays."

"We've been doing plenty of resting," said Jyn. "Sitting around on that base waiting for clearance. It's high time for us to be seeing more than the inside of that base."

"Exactly," Cassian affirmed, turning around properly now to flash her grin.

 _Smiling suits him_ , Jyn thought.

"Exactly what she said," Cassian continued, walking backwards now so that he could talk better to her. He might never admit it to himself, but Jyn thought rest suited him as well. Cassian seemed more alert, more awake and more cheerful than he had ever done since she had met him and it had admittedly cheered her up in kind.

"Can you believe it," he said, catching Jyn's eye and realising he ought to turn around if he didn't want to trip over backwards. "All these years as part of the Rebellion, all these years coming in and out of Yavin IV and I've never once gone further than those open plains there?"

"Yes, I can believe it," said Kaytoo without missing a beat. "I was there."

Cassian laughed in response.

"The droid crackin' jokes again?" Jyn heard Bodhi call from further back in the group.

"I am most certainly not," the droid said. "I was merely stating the facts.

"Right," Bodhi replied. "Without any hint of attitude whatsoever."

Jyn felt the droid about to reply once more where ahead of them she saw Cassian quickly rush through a clearing and call out.

"Here!" she heard him shout. "Over here!"

Jyn would return to that spot many times over, later in her life, even when the Rebellion had long gone from Yavin IV and when her joints were old and she needed help to be able to walk through that clearing.

But every time she looks out from beyond those leaves onto the view Cassian had discovered for them, it looks as beautiful as the first time she had seen it. The richness of Yavin IV spread out ahead, no Rebellion base in sight. Just the world beyond, untouched. She could not remember the last time she had been on a world so unscarred.

"Cassian," she said softly. "That's just -"

Silence hung between them.

"Yes?" she heard him say.

She turned towards him and found him staring straight at her, a firm look in his eyes quite unlike anything she had seen before. No, perhaps she had seen glimpses of this particular look in odd moments here and there but never this intense, without denial, focused. Jyn wasn't sure what it was, but it made something in her stomach curl.

She quickly turned away and looked back out across the glorious view, waterfalls and animal calls and all.

"It's the most wonderful thing I think I've ever seen."

They camped around half a day's walk away in an open clearing near a pool that once again, Cassian had found for them all. Moonlight glittered on the water and Cassian and Jyn stayed up talking long after Base and Chirrut had retired into their shared tent and Bodhi had decided to go for a nighttime stroll, bringing Kaytoo along just in case any hungry animals appeared.

"Thank you for coming up with this," Cassian said, after a momentary pause in their conversation. "You know, I wish I'd come up with it myself."

"We all needed some air," Jyn said. "Clean air. Open air."

Cassian nodded.

"My home was not like this one," he said. "What I can remember of it, anyway."

"I remember mountains, and the sea," Jyn said softly. "Black sand, wide open beaches. And fields of green, plenty of green."

"I think I remember fields," said Cassian. "Maybe I do. It's all pictures, images, and I can't always tell if they were pictures I was shown or just things that were real."

Jyn heard the sadness in his voice and around the fire she moved close to him.

"I'm sorry," she said.

He shrugged.

"Not at all," he replied, and then laughed wryly. Jyn heard the bitterness in his voice. "Trauma will do that to a child I guess. Muddle it all up."

That she did understand. After she had been rescued by Saw Gerrera all those years ago her life had been a blur as well, a blur of planets and running until she had been thrusted into the arms of the Rebellion, until she had met Cassian, and found herself again.

"Yes," she said, knowing that that would be enough, that he would understand.

She took a sip from her water canteen.

"That is why," Jyn said softly. "We must make new memories. Like these ones here, now, like all the ones we had together today."

"Good and bad?" he asked quietly.

She hadn't expected that, and she found herself not wanting to answer. All of the team bar Kaytoo (because he was a droid) and Baze had suffered nightmares of varying kinds since their return from Scarif. Chirrut had shaken them off first, Cassian second, and for several days it seemed her and Bodhi were competing to see who would keep those nightmares the longest.

"Good and bad," she said, as much to herself as to Cassian. "They balance out each other, don't they."

"Light and darkness, the Jedi and the Sith, love and hate," Cassian rambled off.

She gestured around her.

"Love," she said softly. "All around us. Life so vibrant too, all amidst death and war. It's all part of the equation."

"I've never been in love," said the captain quietly. "I loved my parents, my family. I remember that, so bright it burns and makes my heart hurt."

Jyn was about to respond in kind when for a moment she paused, and turned to look at him.

She found him turn to meet her gaze.

"Would you love?" she asked. "Do you want to?"

A smile quirked up the corners of his mouth.

"Yes and no," he said. "No, because I could die tomorrow. Because it could all end and the thought that I would cause someone pain by dying is just - I don't want to do it. Yes because..."

He broke his gaze with her and looked back into the flames of the small fire they had made.

"Yes because... because I have to."

Jyn frowned.

"You have to?"

"I have to because I suppose I am in the midst of it. I couldn't stop it even if I wanted to."

She only realised she had been holding her breath when she opened her mouth to speak once more.

"You're in love?" she said quietly. Her mouth felt dry, very dry, and she hastily brought the canteen to her lips to sip some more but she might as well have been drinking air for all the difference it made.

"Would you hate me, Jyn, if I told you it was you?" said Cassian.

Jyn licked her lips in an attempt to unstick her mouth.

"That depends," she said, looking with determination back at the fire, away from his face. "Are you saying that it's me?"

She could count the seconds it took for him to reply, long seconds that made her chest hurt. Oh, what a fool she had been before, to have suppressed and ignored those feelings she had had since he had appeared to her on that tower on Scarif. Now they were all bubbling to the surface, all denial and passion mixed together in one potent jumble that could send her dizzy if she didn't try to keep her head.

"Yes," he said, before his words stumbled and ran on, desperate. "But I want you to know that I can and will still love you as a friend if you don't feel the same way. Adios mio, listen to me, I sound like a child: I just mean that... Jyn, I don't want there to be secrets between us, including this one. You told me once that we were friends, and to me that means being honest, also."

She felt him turn towards her, and without even thinking about it she turned towards him in kind. His face was the most open and sincere she had ever seen it.

"I am sorry I kept it from you for so long," he said softly, as though he were asking for forgiveness from a god.

She almost imperceptibly shook her head.

"For how long?" she whispered. "You have felt like this for how long?"

He looked at her and sighed.

"Since Scarif, I think. Maybe Jedha, even. I'm not completely sure. But I still know how I feel. I know it to be truer than anything I've ever known. Jyn..."

Cassian swallowed and Jyn used that moment to close the gap between them with a kiss.

As they trekked further into the undergrowth of Yavin IV the next day, it took Chirrut around seven minutes to figure out what had transpired been Jyn and the Captain the night before, and he quietly mentioned it to Baze, who looked at him in surprise.

"You think so?" he said. "You think he finally told her?"

Chirrut nodded.

"I am sure," he replied. "It feels different between them."

Baze looked up to where his two friends were trekking side by side, glancing at each other every couple of seconds and laughing at each other's jokes. _There Chirrut went being right yet again..._

"I suppose you're right," he said. "Yet again. Always noticing things I don't."

"Not everything," Chirrut replied, a smile on his face, before looking straight ahead. "Jyn! I remember you telling me the other day about your favourite flowers: you never finished the story."

Baze laughed in his head as Jyn turned, startled, before leaving Cassian's side to walk over to Chirrut, and Baze moved out of the way so that she could walk side by side with the blind monk.

"Where did I leave off?" Baze heard Jyn say.

"He finally told you, then?" said Chirrut softly, and completely unabashed.

"I - what, um -"

"Our Captain told you how he feels about you, yes? Last night?"

"I - yes, he did."

"I'm glad it worked out."

"Wait, you knew? He told you?"

"No, it was obvious. We were all waiting for something to happen."

"You all knew?"

"Jyn, it was obvious."

"I didn't notice..."  
  
"The people it happens to rarely do. But as I said, I'm glad it worked out. I knew it would. I could feel it."

"We're just letting it happen naturally," Baze heard Jyn say, after a pause. "We are still at war, after all."

"All the more reason to treasure what love you have."

Jyn smiled at Chirrut, a bright smile that could have caught the eye of every creature for a mile around.

"Thank you," Baze heard her whisper, and Chirrut squeezed her hand in return.

"Subtle," Baze said afterwards, once Jyn had moved away to talk to Bodhi for a while.

Chirrut had merely shrugged.

"Sometimes with love, you do not need to be."

All of them had enjoyed their camping trip away, with the exception of Kaytoo, who had insisted that the journey had been too long and too uninteresting and too monotonous. But when they had returned they had found the base in a frenzy and all of them were told they were coming with most of the Rebellion to another base they had on the planet Hoth.

After that they moved from base to base, aiding in the rebel cause until at long last Darth Vader was defeated, his evil not snuffed out for good, but his evil deeds at least brought to a halt.

On their newest base, Jyn, Cassian and the rest of the core Rogue One team watched with many other as they saw ships fly overhead in celebration and all around them people jumped and cried and hugged one another. Jyn felt Cassian's hand slip into hers.

"Let's get out of here," she murmured, and she quietly led him away, their movements unnoticed by almost all of the frenzied crowd save for four figures that stood by them.

Later they sat together in Bodhi's quarters, which had been chosen because to everyone's surprise the pilot had turned out to be quite the spirit connoisseur.

All of them were sitting in silence as Baze poured out several glasses of some kind of whisky. Then he took a seat and raised his glass.

"To the fallen," he said simply.

They raised their glasses together and drank silently until one by one they put their glasses down on the table.

"Well," said Kaytoo suddenly, breaking the ice. "Now that organic life-form ritual has been finished -"

"What now?" said Jyn softly.

"I'm sure the Rebellion will still have lots for us to do," Bodhi replied, his tone just as solemn.

All of them knew it was true. Since their return and recovery from Scarif all of them still had been helping the Rebellion, wether that was through training future operatives or putting in flight time. Given all the lives that had already been taken it seemed to be a miracle that they had all got through it together and Chirrut knew that their solemnity came from remembering their memories after Scarif, where amidst the cheering upon their rescue all any of them could think of was all the others still left there down on the beach. It made the celebrations and honors afterwards hollow and painful.

"Perhaps we could retire," Chirrut said quietly, as much to himself as to everyone else. "Do you think they'd let us?"

Baze snorted, but behind his eyes there was something else there, a seriousness that suggested that for all his strength and command he wanted to rest his aching bones as well.

Jyn walked back to the quarters that she shared with Cassian in the early hours of the following morning after having shaken hands with and hugged a multitude of people she didn't know. Cassian had disappeared sometime during the celebration mumbling something about getting rest before Leia had found Jyn and had dragged her off to introduce her to more people.

She let the doors in front of her slide open without giving it a second thought, kicked off her shoes and shuffled forward to the bed. Cassian was nowhere to be seen, but his absence didn't worry her. Her eyes closed shut before she barely had time to crawl under the covers.

The next thing she knew, someone was gently shaking her arm.

"Jyn," she heard his voice say. "Jyn, are you okay?"

"Hmmmm?"  
  
"Jyn, get up."

She turned over lazily and let her eyes open slowly.

"Cassian," she mumbled sleepily. "Hmmm, it's you. Will you come to bed? I'm sleepy."

He pulled the covers from her and she curled up in defence, but she felt his hand on her shoulder.

"Please get up, Jyn," he said. "I will let you sleep on the way, I promise."

 _The bastard._ He knew the prospect of a journey would intrigue her. She rubbed her eyes and sat up properly in bed.

"On the way to where?" she asked, yawning.

"You'll see," he said. "Won't you come with me?"

She took his arm and still in a half-trance, she allowed herself be led out of their quarters and over to the hangar, where Cassian led her into his U-Wing and gently placed her in the seat in the cockpit next to him.

"Co-pilot?" Jyn said, rubbing her eyes again so that she was as awake as she could possibly manage.

"I'll be alright," she heard Cassian say, "I'm awake."

She fell asleep twenty minutes into the journey.

When she woke up they had already landed. She squinted and looked around her into what looked like darkness, but before she could see anything more she saw Cassian clap his hands over her eyes.

"That was a close call," she heard him say, a smile in his voice.

"Cas," she said. "What's going on?"

"I want to show you something," he said. "It's a surprise, though, so I'm going to blindfold your eyes?"

Jyn rolled her eyes even though Cassian knew he couldn't see it.

"This is the bit where you're going to ask me if I trust you, right?" she said.

"I don't need to ask that," he said. "I know you do."

Jyn sighed.

She held his hand as he talked about nothing in particular and she listened to the sounds of everything around her. _There was forrest around them - or was it jungle? No, forest,_ she was quite sure of that. And then - _was that the sound of water?_

Under the edge of the blindfold she looked up and saw what looked like silvers of light peeking under the material, but before she could question it she felt Cassian gently tug on her hand, encouraging her to sit on the ground.

"Okay," he whispered, and she felt his fingers undo the back of the blindfold. "Are you ready?"

"I still don't know what for," she whispered, as she felt the folds of material fall away from her face and she opened her eyes.

It still looked the same. After all the years had passed, after the galaxy had been torn in two and then some, that same glade on Yavin IV where he had told her for the first time he loved her... it still looked exactly the same. Except that this time it was not night, but the sun was peeking just over the horizon.

"I wanted to take you back," he said. "Something Chirrut said... it got me thinking."

"Most of what he says gets you thinking."

Cassian laughed in reply.

"Yes," he continued. "But this time it really did, and I wanted you to see this. The sunrise. Back here. The sun always rises at the dawn of a new day. A second chance to start life anew."

They sat together as it emerged, slowly, its light slowly basking over the land before them, and for a moment Jyn forgot the fatigue of the past few years and felt young again, back in the days when it was just her and she roamed from place to place. Except that it wasn't just her any more.  
  
"And I realised I wanted you to see the sunrise not just here because it was beautiful, but because I couldn't think of a better setting for me to tell you that I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

She turned and looked at him, surprised.

"Are -"

"Yes," he said, moving forward to grasp her hands, and press his forehead gently to hers. "Will you marry me, Jyn Erso?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!


	3. Past

Cassian hurt all over. It wasn't just the pain of the multiple blaster wounds or the fact that he had climbed a whole ladder knowing that his flesh was tearing up inside. No, there were years of hurt there, now bubbling up to the surface, memories of tears as a child, memories of pretending to be other people for the greater good... memories of seeing his friends around him die.

But then he looked at the woman standing in front of him, the one he had just saved with a shot - not that she would ever necessarily need saving from anyone - and he felt almost all the pain ebb away.

Amongst the dirt smeared on her face, the scratches on her hands and the redness he knew was under her fingers he saw her smile at him. A single smile, a tonic for a lifetime of pain. She moved forward and together they saw the plans uploaded, knew that no matter what happened now it was up to the people they had passed the torch on to, and that was enough.

He felt he prop him up, her arms strong despite her small frame, searched her face as they descended the elevator together, knowing that it would take a miracle to save them now. Their faces were so close together he could just lean forward and kiss her - _she was just there... so close_...

But he didn't, remembering something from a shadow of a memory, something his mother had once told him about there being people up there that listened. He hadn't believed it at all, not with the Empire and all the horrible things that happened around him. Yet in this moment, Cassian let himself. Perhaps if he didn't kiss her, if he didn't tempt fate with emotions that had been rattling around for longer than he would be willing to admit, maybe someone would see and grant him his chance to get that kiss after all, in a time and place that was proper and right, a time and place this woman deserved.

Cassian feels her arm around him again as they walk together, see the devastation on the beach, the bright lights in the sky and they both know that it is too late now, not unless a miracle were to occur.

They collapse together on the beach, both so weary that it is all they can do to be close to one another, for them to grasp on another's hands. He looks into her eyes and as he tells her that her father would have been proud of her he sees something else. He sees Jyn watching as he says those words again but to a child, and he realises that it is their child - _a girl? No, a boy._ He wonders what they would call him when he sees other children too, another girl, and then another, and then Cassian wonders if there are more, but then thinks that even if there are only three he would not mind, for he had two siblings too, once upon a time, and that he had never even dreamed he might be able to have children in a world like this.

Then he snaps out of the reverie and realises that as things stand, he will not be able to do so anyway.

As the light rages ever closer, they pull each other close and as he feels her next to him he sees more - children running around amongst green, miles and miles of green, and all of them laughing together. Not just Jyn and Cassian, but Bodhi and Kaytoo, and Baze and Chirrut. And the children call the others uncles and the girls persuade Kaytoo to play hide and seek with them. And Jyn takes his hand, and smiles, and kisses him on the cheek.

 _Galen_ , Cassian thinks to himself. They would call the boy Galen. He is somehow sure that Jyn would like that. And the girls... he does not remember the name of Jyn's mother. He read it there in her case file once, but for some reason he does not remember what her name was. Yes, maybe the name of Jyn's mother for one, and the name of his own mother for the other. Then perhaps they would have the spirits of their brave forefathers as well as that of their mother.

He can feel the deafening sound of the incoming blast now, so loud and terrible that it threatens to burst his eardrums. And then Cassian realises that there are tears in his eyes. Not tears for what he know is coming their way but for what he can see and for what he so desperately wants to come to pass.

So in the final seconds in his mind he talks to his mother, to those people she referred to, those gods. He asks for forgiveness for all he has done in the past, all the people he might have hurt, no matter for what cause. And he promises that if he is given a second chance, if they are saved from this terrible doom he will dedicate his life to loving the woman in his arms, will make sure that he loves her well so that when it truly comes to his end he can stand at the foot of those that judge and can swear that he kept to his word. And he will love their children too, so fiercely, so strongly that no one will take them away like he had been, and he will protect others as he will protect them.

The light is almost upon them now and Cassian thinks that if they survive this, one day he would take Jyn to see a sunrise, the glory of the beautiful lights of hope instead of this terrible one. And then he remembers something else his mother once said, something about the sunrise representing hope, the dawn of a new day. _Whoever you are, save us,_ Cassian thinks, _and I will take her to see every sunrise on every world until the day I die._

Cassian feels her fingers dig into his back and he closes his eyes... _how the tragic could hope..._ perhaps, perhaps if he wished hard enough, someone up there might grant his wish. A second chance to start life anew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this little fic! Please do leave comments below if you liked it enough, and Happy Valentine's Day!


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